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The Big 5

Last week MyKail started Pre-K. This wouldn't be his first interaction in a school like setting or first interaction being around other children, but this would be his first time being somewhere that I don't feel to certain on. Teachers have so many kids to take care of, how will they attend to my child? How will they relay my kids day to me since he can't tell me himself? These are my main concerns. I am not there and he is not supervised 24/7. what if a kid hits him? What if, what if, what if?!

As MyKail approaches his 5th birthday I've seemed to have casted a cloud of sorrow over this milestone. I'm way past the "compare your kid to the next kid" phase in life, but my big boy is approaching age 5 and still cannot talk to me. When I say "non-verbal" I do not mean a mute. MyKail understands (I can only assume)what I tell him. He follows directions, as well as any other 4.5 yr old. He can even say a couple of phrases for simple commands; "juice please, help, outside just to give a few. MyKail, can in fact say a lot but he is not to the point where he can tell me how his day was.

The sorrow comes from reality clouding my faith. The "what if's" when rising a child are light weight when you have the "what if's" of a special needs child. I've heard success stories of kiddos on the spectrum that have gained their voice/speech, out of no where, and that is great....but now I have to prepare myself for the "what if's" in my life with my aspirations for my son.

Not sure why 5 is hitting me harder than his previous birthdays but the closer is comes, the sadder I get just a little. I am tired of my son being frustrated because he simply cannot talk with me.

Rant over.

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